


my heart is stone, and still it trembles

by Qunsua



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Stream of Consciousness, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:47:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8367709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qunsua/pseuds/Qunsua
Summary: And as she renewed her oath, as she pledged never again to falter, neither of them spoke.
Had her oath been meaningless, then? Is she a traitor after all?
What is left for her? Her whole world is lost. Everything she’s known, her identity, her sense of stability, is lost in the shadow of the Dark Stone and what it has done.
(Selena's thoughts during Chapter 13.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> for Day 1 of FE8 Week (Oath/Traitor). 
> 
> My first thought when I saw this prompt was "HOLY COW THAT IS PERFECT FOR SELENA," which led to a lot of rambling on my Tumblr about how this prompt could be applied to different characters. I might want to do more with it in the future!
> 
> I'm very late, but I think it's still the right day somewhere in the world.
> 
> Dialogue is taken directly from the game.

She stands at the end of the bridge, awaiting them.

She raises Bolting. She attacks. It’s all she can do as they make their way down the winding path.

Emperor Vigarde had saved her. What choice did she have, other than to dedicate herself to him?

She remembers the beginning of the end. 

She remembers Emperor Vigarde ordering the invasions. 

She remembers the day Emperor Vigarde called her and Duessel and Glen before him to say that the three of them lacked the strength to conquer the remaining nations.

He called for General Valter. She could barely stand to call that monster a general. General Valter, who killed innocents. General Valter, who desired nothing but blood. General Valter, who defied everything Emperor Vigarde had said about how a general should be a protector. 

General Valter, who called her unreliable and untrustworthy. General Valter, who told her she was lucky that Emperor Vigarde hadn’t ordered her killed. 

She had always done as Emperor Vigarde had told her. How could she not dedicate her life to the man who had saved it? He had cared about his people, about all civilians. 

She wants to believe he still does.

_“The role of an imperial general is that of the shield, not the blade. We are here to protect our citizens, not to threaten our neighbors.”_

Then why–

Even if it matters, which it doesn’t, she already knows why. 

Just as Myrrh had told her, the Dark Stone can tarnish even the purest of souls, and Emperor Vigarde is the purest soul she knows.

_Was_ the purest soul she _knew_.

No, she can’t think that, not even now.

Myrrh had said there was no way to reverse it. What if there had been a way?

Would she have joined Renais then, and only then? Would she have turned traitor like General Duessel?

No. She had been wrong to call General Duessel a traitor. There was nothing traitorous about trying to reverse what had happened to Emperor Vigarde.

But she knows there is no way to help him. General Duessel might not know, but she knows.

And where does that leave her?

She owes him her life. Without him, she is nothing. Without him, she would not exist in this moment.

But Prince Lyon had given her these latest orders, not Emperor Vigarde.

_Duessel has betrayed us…Are you a traitor, too?_

Emperor Vigarde hadn’t responded to her as she begged him for another chance. It was Lyon who had spoken.

Did Lyon know what she felt? Did he want to give her a final chance? For what? To prove herself…or to escape, in the only way that was possible?

And as she renewed her oath, as she pledged never again to falter, neither of them spoke.

Had her oath been meaningless, then? Is she a traitor after all?

What is left for her? Her whole world is lost. Everything she’s known, her identity, her sense of stability, is lost in the shadow of the Dark Stone and what it has done.

\-----------

The army stops before her. She sees Prince Ephraim at the front…with General Duessel.

“Surrender! I have no wish to see you die here!” Prince Ephraim calls out. So Myrrh must have told him.

How can Prince Ephraim ever know what it means to be a knight? What it means to owe your life, your very existence, to your lord?

She has to keep it up.

_I am the empire’s servant. I am Your Majesty’s vassal. I am General Selena, the Fluorspar of the Grado Empire._

That is her role. That is the path she has chosen. She has no choice but to keep it up. Fight Renais, just as Vigarde said.

“Me? Die?” she shouts, barely holding herself together. 

She takes a deep breath and collects herself. If her own identity is gone, if Selena is gone, the Fluorspar is still there. She would not exist without Vigarde, and the name Vigarde gave her is all that remains as Selena crumbles. She must be the Fluorspar. It is the only option she has left.

“Prince Ephraim, you misunderstand me. I have no intention of dying. Madness though it may be, I will be the one doing the killing today.”

She does not try. She knows he will never understand what it is to be a knight. 

General Duessel steps forward. “Well met, Selena.”

He calls her Selena. Can’t he see that Selena is no more? Her hope is gone, her self is gone. But if anyone can understand, it is General Duessel…or General Glen.

She notices for the first time that General Glen isn’t part of General Ephraim’s army…yet his brother Cormag is.

So Cormag had given up one oath for another. What had General Glen done? Was he still with Emperor Vigarde? Once, General Glen had told her of how Emperor Vigarde had saved him and Cormag from imprisonment. Did General Glen have the same struggle as she did? Had he lost himself too? Is the Sunstone all that remains?

“General Duessel.” She would not cry. _She would not cry._ The Fluorspar could not cry. “I must offer you my apologies. I called you a traitor, but I was mistaken. Your loyalty never wavered, not for an instant.”

General Duessel stares. Can he see her, really see her? Can he see what this war has done? What the Dark Stone has done? Not just to Emperor Vigarde, but to her? To all of Grado?

“And yet you must know that I have no intention of withdrawing.” Yes, he has to see. There is only one way out for her, and surely General Duessel of all people sees that. “So let us not waste words. Let us settle this with our weapons....” 

She looks into the eyes of this man who was once her comrade-in-arms. “…my friend.”

“That’s how it is to be, then?” he asks, as if to confirm what he must already know. “One of us dies by the other’s hands?”

“Yes. It’s the path I’ve chosen.” Because she had nothing else to choose. She never truly had. “I have no regrets.”

“I see.” General Duessel paused. There is no question now of whether he can see. “Well.” He glances back towards Prince Ephraim. “I, too, must follow the path that I have chosen.”

She nods. “Very well.” 

They lift their weapons, fulfilling their oaths, playing their roles.

“Fluorspar…” she murmurs, as if to remind herself of the only option she has left. “His Majesty gave me this name.” Yes, His Majesty, the reason she exists, the only purpose left. “Therefore, I…”

The blow from General Duessel’s weapon strikes her before she can finish speaking.

She is released.

“I am so…very tired…” she chokes out as the world grows dark, just as it did when the Dark Stone corrupted her emperor. She has done all she can to serve Grado, and thus she can no longer be Fluorspar. But what remains of Selena, besides deep, profound exhaustion?

“Now I, too…will…”

Selena’s eyes close for the final time.

Fluorspar’s oath has been fulfilled.

\-----------

Duessel takes a long look at Fluorspar–Selena–before leaving the battlefield with the others.

Myrrh’s cries echo in his ears. _Why did Dame Selena have to die? Why?_

Yes, he knows there was no other way for her.

But what of him? 

_You will live, Duessel. As a traitor… In disgrace… I know that for a man such as you this is more agonizing than death. But you will live nonetheless. You will live for something more important._

There is definitely truth in Prince Ephraim’s words; that cannot be disputed.

But as he stares at Selena’s body and remembers her words, her desperation, her complete and utter loss of everything she knew, he cannot help but wonder: whose fate was worse?

And who is the traitor? The one who now fights for Grado’s rival, or the one who could not bear to leave Grado even when leaving was the best choice?

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title is from Les Miserables. Talk to me about parallels between Javert and Selena.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
